Dua tiga hari ini aku sangat sedih. Emosi aku lagaknya macam orang putus cinta.
Bangun pagi rasa sedih, tengah breakfast, dinner semua nak sedih, mandi pun nak sedih.
Tengok betapa teruknya keadaan aku kan.. ok ok, exaggerate pula rasanya.
In conclusion, there is this sadness feeling that is so overwhelming.
Dan sebenarnya aku tahu saja sebab apa aku sedih.
Tapi seakannya aku ini lumpuh, tak boleh berbuat apa-apa.
It is not that I can't, it is that maybe I refused to do so. Bahagia dalam kesedihan.
Hahaha.. jangan risau. Aku belum gila lagi.
Sebelum ini aku pernah tulis pasal kegilaan aku pada certain drama.
And my current obsession is Healer.
Sebenarnya, bila dah tengok banyak kali cerita itu, biasa saja. Normal lah, itu semua penceritaan drama, bukannya realiti.
Itulah, bercakap, menulis senang, tapi yang merasanya hati. Itulah, orang dah kata, jangan bagi makanan hati benda-benda yang lagha, yang susahnya diri sendiri juga. Padan muka (kasi penumbuk satu!)
I think (and I know it) that I am a hopelessly romantic person.
I like how the background musics really fit the scene.
And those are some sad songs. They touch that romantic side of my heart.
And without knowing, my tears flow freely whenever I heard the songs.
I am really screwed up, am I? (oh no!)
And so that is why I am so sad this past few days.
Mungkin juga sebab aku period sekarang ini.
Agak malap cahaya keimanan. Bercahayakah? *senyum sedih*
Kita ini lain daripada manusia lain. Memang lain.
Kita ini kan Muslim. Bukankah segalanya berbeza bagi kita kan?
Tujuan hidup kita pun dah berbeza, that is mengabdikan diri pada Tuhan yang satu.
That is why whatever I am doing right now, does not reflect of who I truly am, who I supposed to be.
Now I feel sad because it feels that I am so pathetic.
OK. enough for today. I just want to write something to get off this overwhelming feeling.
Time for my reflections!
For isn't that the rule, fall down seven times, stand up eight?
The true mark of a Muslim is that of infinite persistence!
Write when it rains
Write when it shines
Write on a restaurant's table mat after a boozy dinner
Write in your old book, that you know you will never read again
Write when your tears can't fall
Write when your life feels like you are rolling a boulder up a hill
Write when you want to feel, but instead you swim in emptiness
Write when your fingers are about to fall from exhaustion
Write when you find your first grey hair
Write when you are alone and trapped by your restless thoughts
Write when you are surrounded by many, yet you feel lonely
Write, Write, Write...
Write because it is the only expression of your free will
Write because it is free, because we were all born to write
Write because it takes ink and a paper and that's about it
And if there's no ink,
write with your tears, your swear, your blood
Write with your finger on the bathroom mirror after a hot shower
Write as if it's your only way out of yourself and into yourself
Write one word, write a poem, write a story, write @#$%*$#, doodle a heart, an orange
Write what others have written
Write so no one can understand, not even you
Write because you were born to do so
Write because it is your voice that the world needs to hear
Not only hear, but read; for it needs to be printed for your children and your children's children to know you; unabashingly you, shamelessly you, beautiful you
Jessica Semaan
Ohmai
Sisi gila aku kembali memunculkan diri.
Dah lama tak segila sebegini.
Hahaha..
I never thought that I could feel the exact same feeling again.
Jujur aku bukan minat sangat korean drama.
And only few dramas that moved me into tears. *bajet*
The first drama I've truly tumpahkan air mata *pekerjaan bodoh, tapi buat juga :P* adalah winter sonata. Masa itu baru darjah-darjah aku ini. Banyak kali lah jugak aku ulang tayang cerita itu. Tak jemu rasanya. Makin besar, minat aku pun beralih arah. Dan selepas itu, tengok saja drama lain, tapi efeknya tak pernah to the extent yang aku akan tengok banyak kali.
But this time. Another one came along.
Healer.
Storyline, background musics, casts, acting, directing, action scenes, semua superb.
Tapi dalam banyak-banyak reason kenapa aku tak boleh move on dari cerita ini adalah.. jeng jeng jeng..
Million-watt smile ji chang wook. Dan charming park min young.
Aku memang suka sangat karakter cerita yang macam ini.
Lonely, ala-ala love deprived, mysterious, besides good looking lah kan..
Cheerful girl, full of life, brave and cute.
Sepertimana aku tulis di atas, aku ini sedang gila. Dan kegilaan aku agak sukar dibendung apabila mencapai certain level. Hahaha. Maafkanlah ketidaktsiqahan aku ini.
My type of storyline.
My favourite actor. Feature menarik pada ji chang wook adalah senyuman dan mata. I'm melting thousands of times! *maafkan saya bakal peneman, saya lagi sedang gila. Harap faham kalau awak baca suatu hari nanti*
Tapi biasanya that 'excited' feeling akan surut after a few days.
Harap kali ini surut cepat-cepat sedikit. Tak larat nak layan perasaan lama-lama.
Penat tau tak penat. Tapi nak buat macam mana, perasaan adalah apa yang kita rasa.
Susah untuk dikawal. Bukan boleh turn on/off ikut sesuka hati, sesedap rasa, bila-bila jua.
Sudahlah. Aku nak pergi menyambung tengok Healer untuk kali yang keberapa entah.
Kan aku dah cakap aku tengah gila sekarang. Haha..
Iye aku tahu, cerita ini dah lapuk dah, dah berzaman dah.
Aku selalu begitu, outdated! hahaha
Orang dah move on dengan cerita lain, kita baru tergila-gila. Hahaha.
