Once you keep score, you lose.
Life is long, life is hard. If you keep score, it's another weight on you.
Just give when you can. Else the score will go against you anyway.
When given the chance, opt to be a good and kind person.
We don't always get chances and often it is too late to practice this muscle.
Just like eventually my leg and arm muscles will get weaker and weaker as I age, because of lack of exercise, so will the giving muscle unless I exercise it.
Giving is the most selfish thing you can do. Hence the amazing benefits you can derive from it.
Kindly noted, this might cause excessive diarrhea and vomiting, so please please take care okay? For those with weak hearts, no ECGs, defibrillator or medications provided. Kindly excused yourself, you know your self better kan? kkkkkkk..
This letter is for you la, whoever you are. (will there be one :/)
...........................................................................................................................................................
Hello LOVE.
I know you haven't found me yet.
But I just want to say it's alright.
You don't have to find me anytime soon. I know it seems like I don't want you right now, but honestly, I would be lying if I told you I never seek you in coffee shops, in crowded places or even in the silences of my mind.
But I know you would like this too.
We're still young. We're still itching for freedom and independence. We want to live.
It's alright not to find me because I am still working on myself.
I still need to find who I am and what I am here for.
I still need to do what I love and pursue them passionately.
Only then when I have already accomplished so much can I begin to fall in love.
I don't know when or where we'll meet. I just know why.
We will meet because we are fated to.
Even if I do not know what you look like, I know that I will like you.
It might take a while, but I know I'll do.
Because I know that you'll be familiar; your pulse will match the beatings in my heart.
So until we're both ready for one another, I hope that you won't give up too soon.
I hope you will wait for me.
So for now, don't worry about me and go accomplish what you have to.
Have fun. Find your desires. Seek greatness. Explore and discover the mysteries of life.
And when you're finished, when you're ready to find love, come find me.
Come find me and tell me all of those stories, all of your life stories.
By this time, I will be ready. I will be ready to face love.
I may not have worked everything out, but I will be able to say I deserve you.
By this time, I will have realized my purpose, my reason.
And I will have understood the reason for love, for us meeting.
So trust me sweetheart, it's alright. Take your time.
..............................................................................................................................................................
Some words need to be crossed. Penulis takut dia akan mengalami *curse diarrhea*.
Typical yeoja. What do you expect kan?
Kalau tak suka, bolehlah minta diri .. hikhikhik.
Bye. Ini adalah saja saja kita nak bersihkan sawang di sini.
Saya sayang emak.
Untuk emak, saya mahu berbuat apa pun.
I wish the best of all this world could give.
Then I become greedier.
I want you to be happy here and hereafter.
Terima kasih emak untuk segalanya.
Thank you for opening up to me.
Thank you for crying and showing me your weak side.
You remind me over and over again
that this world is not easy to live in.
That there are peope who hates you and there are fake people.
Thank you for always cooking for us.
I want to be able to treat you when I become a doctor.
Am I failing to do just that?
I want you to keep being healthy and can play with your grandchildren.
I never wanted you to leave me.
Because you are my safe harbor.
If I have you, I even thought that it is fine if I do not get married.
Because I want to keep taking care of you.
But am I already doing a lousy job at that?
Emak, thank you for always forgiving us.
Thank you for taking care of us.
And now it is time for us to take care of you.
I love you mom, forever and always
There is nothing lost in apologizing.
It makes us realize how important the other person in our life is and that we are willing to give up anything to make them happy.
Even after that they don't realize and be stubborn, we can't change them but we can change ourselves to be a better person.
You make lists in your head about what you want in a lover, like brown hair, blue eyes and a sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that actually makes you laugh like you mean it. This and that.
And it's all bullshit. Complete bullshit. Because people aren't lists. At all.
And I've always wanted to be the person who made someone realize that.
I want to come across someone with a list in their head that is nothing like the person I am, and I want to show them what they didn't even know they even looking for.
People who think they know what they want are just fooling themselves.
Nobody really knows what or who they want. Not until it's right in front of them.
- Marianna Paige
HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..
LONG TIME NO SEE. Ahhhh.. Rindunya mahu mengarut sengsorang. Biarlah ada orang baca(atau tidak sebenarnya), because this is one of the medium for me to get crazy untuk kesekian kalinya.
So, what's new?
1. I have graduated from medical school! Yey. Can't believe I've made it this far. Jadi sekarang, kerjanya saya jaga pokok bunga ros emak di rumah. Setakat ini masih hidup lagi. Tapi mungkin, mungkin lah bakal menyusuli pasu tepi yang dah kekeringan. Ha ha. Tangan saya tak hijau, nak buat macam mana. (Tapi saya siram saja ek)
2. I'm missing Egypt right now. I miss going to university, sitting and hearing lectures. I miss pillow-talking with my best buddy. I miss gossips sessions with the girls. I am bored sitting alone at home. Of course I have house chores to tend to, adik-adik yang bakal exam tahun ini which requires me to pay particular attention.
3. And, last but not likely least, today is your birthday! Happy Bornday Nur Hazirah Mohd Azlan. You are truly a gem. :) My partner in crime. Thank you for being my bestest friend. I learn a lot from you. I will always pray for your success, your happiness. Semoga cepat bertemu jodoh, cepat dapat kerja, berjaya dalam segala yang kau impikan. :') Thank you for being you.
....................................................................
//MONOLOGUE//
Is it hard to be in a long distance relationship?
Why and why would you choose to be in one?
But sometimes you can't help it.
Your job, your career needs you to be apart from each other.
Is it possible to keep the love alive when you are far away from each other?
What with the hectic schedule.
Then it all comes down to understanding and trust.
Then, it is the same as what you have said before..
If the trust is strong in each other, then isn't that is the greatest love.
1. Be soft like water.
"Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind".
"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
2. If you truly love life, don't waste time because time is what life is made of.
"To spend time is to pass it in a specified manner. To waste time is to expend it thoughtlessly or carelessly. We all have time to either spend or waste and it is our decision what to do with it. But once passed, it is gone forever."
3. Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
4. Life's battles don't always go to the strongest or fastest people, but to the ones who thinks they can.
"The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus"
5. To specialize in one thing is more powerful than to try 10,000 other things.
6. There are no limits to what you can achieve. There are only plateaus, and you must go beyond them.
"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them."
7. A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
8. If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.
9. Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.
10. Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
Dua tiga hari ini aku sangat sedih. Emosi aku lagaknya macam orang putus cinta.
Bangun pagi rasa sedih, tengah breakfast, dinner semua nak sedih, mandi pun nak sedih.
Tengok betapa teruknya keadaan aku kan.. ok ok, exaggerate pula rasanya.
In conclusion, there is this sadness feeling that is so overwhelming.
Dan sebenarnya aku tahu saja sebab apa aku sedih.
Tapi seakannya aku ini lumpuh, tak boleh berbuat apa-apa.
It is not that I can't, it is that maybe I refused to do so. Bahagia dalam kesedihan.
Hahaha.. jangan risau. Aku belum gila lagi.
Sebelum ini aku pernah tulis pasal kegilaan aku pada certain drama.
And my current obsession is Healer.
Sebenarnya, bila dah tengok banyak kali cerita itu, biasa saja. Normal lah, itu semua penceritaan drama, bukannya realiti.
Itulah, bercakap, menulis senang, tapi yang merasanya hati. Itulah, orang dah kata, jangan bagi makanan hati benda-benda yang lagha, yang susahnya diri sendiri juga. Padan muka (kasi penumbuk satu!)
I think (and I know it) that I am a hopelessly romantic person.
I like how the background musics really fit the scene.
And those are some sad songs. They touch that romantic side of my heart.
And without knowing, my tears flow freely whenever I heard the songs.
I am really screwed up, am I? (oh no!)
And so that is why I am so sad this past few days.
Mungkin juga sebab aku period sekarang ini.
Agak malap cahaya keimanan. Bercahayakah? *senyum sedih*
Kita ini lain daripada manusia lain. Memang lain.
Kita ini kan Muslim. Bukankah segalanya berbeza bagi kita kan?
Tujuan hidup kita pun dah berbeza, that is mengabdikan diri pada Tuhan yang satu.
That is why whatever I am doing right now, does not reflect of who I truly am, who I supposed to be.
Now I feel sad because it feels that I am so pathetic.
OK. enough for today. I just want to write something to get off this overwhelming feeling.
Time for my reflections!
For isn't that the rule, fall down seven times, stand up eight?
The true mark of a Muslim is that of infinite persistence!
Write when it rains
Write when it shines
Write on a restaurant's table mat after a boozy dinner
Write in your old book, that you know you will never read again
Write when your tears can't fall
Write when your life feels like you are rolling a boulder up a hill
Write when you want to feel, but instead you swim in emptiness
Write when your fingers are about to fall from exhaustion
Write when you find your first grey hair
Write when you are alone and trapped by your restless thoughts
Write when you are surrounded by many, yet you feel lonely
Write, Write, Write...
Write because it is the only expression of your free will
Write because it is free, because we were all born to write
Write because it takes ink and a paper and that's about it
And if there's no ink,
write with your tears, your swear, your blood
Write with your finger on the bathroom mirror after a hot shower
Write as if it's your only way out of yourself and into yourself
Write one word, write a poem, write a story, write @#$%*$#, doodle a heart, an orange
Write what others have written
Write so no one can understand, not even you
Write because you were born to do so
Write because it is your voice that the world needs to hear
Not only hear, but read; for it needs to be printed for your children and your children's children to know you; unabashingly you, shamelessly you, beautiful you
Jessica Semaan
Ohmai
Sisi gila aku kembali memunculkan diri.
Dah lama tak segila sebegini.
Hahaha..
I never thought that I could feel the exact same feeling again.
Jujur aku bukan minat sangat korean drama.
And only few dramas that moved me into tears. *bajet*
The first drama I've truly tumpahkan air mata *pekerjaan bodoh, tapi buat juga :P* adalah winter sonata. Masa itu baru darjah-darjah aku ini. Banyak kali lah jugak aku ulang tayang cerita itu. Tak jemu rasanya. Makin besar, minat aku pun beralih arah. Dan selepas itu, tengok saja drama lain, tapi efeknya tak pernah to the extent yang aku akan tengok banyak kali.
But this time. Another one came along.
Healer.
Storyline, background musics, casts, acting, directing, action scenes, semua superb.
Tapi dalam banyak-banyak reason kenapa aku tak boleh move on dari cerita ini adalah.. jeng jeng jeng..
Million-watt smile ji chang wook. Dan charming park min young.
Aku memang suka sangat karakter cerita yang macam ini.
Lonely, ala-ala love deprived, mysterious, besides good looking lah kan..
Cheerful girl, full of life, brave and cute.
Sepertimana aku tulis di atas, aku ini sedang gila. Dan kegilaan aku agak sukar dibendung apabila mencapai certain level. Hahaha. Maafkanlah ketidaktsiqahan aku ini.
My type of storyline.
My favourite actor. Feature menarik pada ji chang wook adalah senyuman dan mata. I'm melting thousands of times! *maafkan saya bakal peneman, saya lagi sedang gila. Harap faham kalau awak baca suatu hari nanti*
Tapi biasanya that 'excited' feeling akan surut after a few days.
Harap kali ini surut cepat-cepat sedikit. Tak larat nak layan perasaan lama-lama.
Penat tau tak penat. Tapi nak buat macam mana, perasaan adalah apa yang kita rasa.
Susah untuk dikawal. Bukan boleh turn on/off ikut sesuka hati, sesedap rasa, bila-bila jua.
Sudahlah. Aku nak pergi menyambung tengok Healer untuk kali yang keberapa entah.
Kan aku dah cakap aku tengah gila sekarang. Haha..
Iye aku tahu, cerita ini dah lapuk dah, dah berzaman dah.
Aku selalu begitu, outdated! hahaha
Orang dah move on dengan cerita lain, kita baru tergila-gila. Hahaha.
The most mind-boggling activity I've always engaged with is trying to figure out what's in one's mind. It is very tiring and a complete waste of time. I am fully aware of the stupidity of my action but I can't help myself. It is just in my nature.
Once I am preoccupied with a thing, it stays with me till I decided to move on to other things much entertaining. This poses big problem for me as I am kind of paralyzed during this period. I will just keep my focus on that one thing. I was unable to engage with other fun activities (like studying! yeah, right).
The most fearsome thought I've ever had is that actually I am a person with different faces. Although it is true to the core (isn't it a fact that human is of different faces), it is still frightening. It feels as if you are not living as honest as you can be. But that is the essence of being a human. We actually put on different masks every day in our lives accordingly. I always wonder which one is my truest self.
#the writer is currently contemplating herself.
#please make duaa for the writer so that she can gather herself back.
#the writer dreams of becoming masterful in her writing but she seems to think that everything is going down the drain now, please cheer her up! (lol) *exaggerate much!
#the writer has a knack for making up new nickname for herself, she elegantly dubs herself as autumn kind *smirks prettily*
Seriously you guys are making me crazy with your antics!
Stop it already.
Hahaha, but still I am patiently waiting for the good news.
Please please please don't disappoint me.
Every week is a torture.
But I guess I am the one responsible for what I am going through.
My skull is that thick that any kind of advice were like air lalu.. (whatever i mean, haha)
Partly because of you guys too, messing with my pretty mind (there you go :P)
This is wrong on so many levels. Knowing the actions and consequences, but decided to unheed the warnings. A very stupid move!
There. I am stupid that way. (bull's eye)
When I get obsessed with a thing, I did stupid move all the time. (Lol)
Today is 'random' day for me!
Let's just be random and act foolish today.
Just for today. (yeah, right! Say it to your palm)
Fully knowing that the only person who can stop you is yourself.
I hope I have enough courage, determination to rise again.
You guys just back off for a week, okay?
Then. we can continue our foolishness! Jyeahhhhh...
#the writer is currently not in her right mind, just play along. hahaha
#the writer is delusional if she thinks that there are actually people (excluding other makhluks) reading her rants and squabbles.
#the writer is in stressful condition because of sudden invasion of her chubby and cute face with acne.
#yeah I know, the writer once again deluding herself thinking that she is chubby. She is cute, though! (hahaha, this is refreshing!)
Continued..
Selesai beli beef pocket, I wonder should I just lepaking saja dekat Costa, tapi rasa malas pula. So I went home.
Nak dijadikan cerita, dekat simpang rumah itu, tiba-tiba ada seekor anak anjing datang menghampiri dan menyalak dekat aku. Aku pun apa lagi, secara automatik kotak suara aku di'activate'kan. Maka hasilnya, keluarlah suara nyaring. HAHAHA..
Aku rasa abang, pakcik arab semua terkejut. Ada kes curi , kes cabul ke hape. Apabila kepala dah tak boleh fikir, maka berterusanlah aku menjerit. Dengan anak anjing itu pun terkejut. Itu pun dia lawan balik. Lagi kuat dia menyalak. In response, lagi kuat aku jerit.
Alhamdulillah, tiba-tiba ada makcik arab, bawab imarah keluar dari bangunan dan tolong aku halau anjing itu. Diikuti seorang abang arab yang rupanya ada dalam kereta berdekatan pun tolong aku halau anjing itu. *lamanya ambil masa nak tolong saya :(*
Cepat-cepat aku lari macam tak cukup tanah. HAHAHA.
That day was really something. I thought that it could not be any surprise. Sebab apa, itu adalah pengalaman-pengalaman yang berharga. Contohnya, bagi aku, aku tak pernah berimaginasi aku akan dapat pengalaman menjerit. Aku teringin saja nak acah-acah buat macam dalam drama, pergi lari atas bangunan, kemudian menjerit sekuat hati *ohoi, gaya macam orang tak ada iman saja*
Sebab itu bila dapat peluang menjerit, memang I give my all lah menjerit dekat anak anjing itu. Thanks la puppy jadi teman menjerit saya! Hahaha.
To experience all that is awesome.
To experience sadness, happiness, fear, all in a day was something I could ever dream of. Before, I am quite reserved with my feelings, I tend to bottle down everything, trying to be cool and act unaffected with whatever is happening to me.
But actually, by letting go of my feelings, by acknowledging my fear, making me feel so carefree. *but not that much*
Everyone has these special memories.
Treasure them well.
I want to experience many things in life. Harap saya tidak takut dan tidak malas! Hahaha, masalah terbesar itu.
And because life is very short, live well, do good and kind things to people around you, smile a lot and have faith in God.
O Allah, guide us in this temporary life. Amin.
20151214.
Selesai exam operative talk *that's right, just a fancy name for the usual oral examination* emosi agaklah tidak stabil sampai pergi membawa diri pergi ke Maadi seorang-seorang *alkisahnya tak pernah serajin begitu*.
Menyinggah Auntie Anne sebentar, gara-gara kepingin nak makan beef pocket. So, boleh bayanglah macam mana rasa hati bila diorang cakap beef pocket tak ada. Lama jugak aku belek-belek menu lain, tiba-tiba dia cakap boleh buatkan pulak. Terubatlah jugak pilu kat hati *banyak tengok korea kau ni*
Honestly, aku boleh kira berapa words yang aku cakap dengan doktor.
A full sentence pun tak lepas kut.
I wonder if this is how you should perform in an oral exam.
Aku rasa kalau pergi interview kerja, orang pun tak mahu ambil kerja! *kenapa exaggerate sangat awak*
But yes that's how I feel. Aku tak adalah totally blank out. I started badly by choosing a wrong kind of question. Galak sangat nak jawab soalan circumcision kan, hambik engkau, ditanyanya soalan luar alam. Padahal soalan dalam alam pun kau terkebil-kebil. Serius aku lupa term smegma padahal dah baca dah pun sebelum ini.
The best thing out of that incident, aku rasa first time kut aku bersenda gurau dengan Professor. The first question aku jawab saja mengikut hafalan aku, then came the second one, which as far as I remember tak ada dalam buku department. Dah terdetik dalam hati mesti dalam andro ini. Ohmaigod, I am doomed. Aku selawat banyak-banyak dalam hati, aku doa supaya Tuhan lembutkan hati Prof. I tried my hardest untuk fikirkan jawapan, in the end aku bantai juga. Itu pun terjegil biji mata Prof dengar jawapan aku, nak bunuh pesakit ke hape budak ini.
Ada satu question itu, lama sangat aku terdiam, Prof pun tiba-tiba cakap. "This topic is very difficult question, I don't know why you choose it." Aku pun apa lagi kan. Teruslah dengan nada sedih dan ala-ala coy gitu. " I don't know too doctor. I thought the questions would be easy. I thought you are going to ask about the principles of circumcision *sambil tangan aku terhayun-hayun depan Prof. Hahaha. I proceeded by saying, "Can I change the question doctor?"
And this is seriously the best outcome I could ever want. Doktor tergelak! Dan aku terkesima dalam dua saat. Terus aku pun gelak sekali dengan dia. Eh eh, lagi dia gelak pulak. Hahaha.. serius itu rasa yang sangat indah dan nyaman. Cute sangat doktor bila gelak. He seems kinder when he laughs.
For some people, maybe it's just ordinary thing that could happen to anyone else.
I know.
That is why I am extremely happy because it happened to me.
I like it the most if I could make someone laugh with the way I talk, the way I act.
I sincerely love it. :)
That is why it is very meaningful to me. It is a very precious memory that I don't want to forget. That is why I wrote it here. So I won't forget it. *it is because I have tendency to forget things! like seriously*
And we proceeded by him asking me to choose what question that I want him to ask.
The atmosphere was getting cheerful and not long after that, he finished asking me questions.
The end for part 1.
#whysomany
Hasil tangkapan hari ini yang tak seberapa sangat.
Yey! Akhirnya, berjaya jugak makan waffle aunty loulou. Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah.
Sedap aje for me.
But mesti everytime pergi, makan topping yang sama saja.
Tak berapa nak gemar mencuba benda2 lain, nak buat macam mana. B)
Bila dah pergi makan banyak2 ini, harapnya boleh recover semangat yang hilang itu
*acah2 sendu jap*
Lepas ini punya gap tak adalah jauh sangat.
Sabar deh. Kita habiskan sikit aje lagi! Hwaiting3.
And, thanks housemate ajak kita pergi makan.
Masa berbaki kat mesir pun tinggal sedikit.
Mesti akan tersangat rindu dengan bumi Mesir nanti.
Sekarang ini pun selalu sangat aku ter'baling belakang',
duk ingat kenangan waktu first year, second year. Every year lah senang cerita.
Kenangan naik train sekali dengan kambing2 pak arab, travel ke muhafazah,
gaduh dengan pakcik arab, borak dengan ammu basha and the geng,
kenangan kelas dengan Dr Tamer. *genang air mata*.
Oh ye pagi tadi, terkejut bangun tiba2 ada eye floaters!!
I totally freak out. Iyelah, tak pernah-pernah ada benda float in front of you.
When you tried to catch it, you failed. Tak freak out ke?
Aku spend 30 minit jugak lah nak tangkap benda alah itu.
Bila google pulak, antara risk nya retinal detachment in severe cases. Lagilah aku freak out.
Nasib baik lepas cakap dengan housemate, dia cakap dia pun ada.
Lega bukan aku seorang. Hahaha.
Normal rupanya ada. Untuk certain people lah.
Kan ada pulak yang argue, aku tak ada pun. *Aku pok kepala kan.* Hahaha.
Lagipun kami dulu kan short-sighted. Hokey. Tarik nafas lega, ucap alhamdulillah.
Panjang pulak cerita hari ini. ^^
Nanti kita cerita lain pulak.
Haruslah kita pergi membaca buku kan, kata nak grad, buatlah betul2. Arasso!
Till I write more. Annyeong!
Dalam hidup ini tak semua yang kita nak kita pasti dapat.
Sebab itu bukan urusan kita pun in the first place.
Bukan kita penentunya.
Kita nak begitu begini tanpa kita tahu apa itu baik atau buruk pada kita.
Kita merengek, meratap and so on for small matter sahaja pun.
Lupanya kita ini pada hakikat siapa kita.
Tak guna kalau kita hidup
tapi tak cuba menjadi sebaik, sesolehah, se'humble' manusia yang kita boleh.
Sudah-sudahlah dengan ego, dengki, and so on.
Bestnya bila tengok manusia2 sekeliling yang sangat baik, sangat pemurah dengan kasih sayang, sangat kasih pada teman-teman.
How I wish I am also that unreserved with love.
Hari ini punya mood macam roller coaster.
Tak sangka bila kita heart-to-heart dengan someone, kita discover a new side of ...
And kita amazed sangat sebab kita tak pernah tahu pun dia sangat amazing.
And it does feels like I always took ... for granted.
And kita rasa 'kecil' sangat sebab kita tak sebaik dia.
Rasa lega rupanya bila tak perlu simpan apa-apa dalam hati
bila nak bercerita.
Rasa puas sebab dapat cakap terus apa yang ada dalam hati.
Tak perlu tahan-tahan. Tak perlu fikir dalam-dalam.
It feels like I got nothing to lose by being honest.
And I don't.
Alhamdulillah selesai written exam. Both medicine and surgery.
Semoga najah semua, ameen ya rabbal alamin.
Sebab mood kita blues sikit ini malam, so ini sahaja lah kita boleh coret.
Kita pun tak adalah gemar berblues-blues ni, mungkin PMS kot. kehkehkeh
Chow lu. Annyeong!
Mana perginya semangat nak study ni?
Asal lemau sangat ni?
Brain shock kot jawab soalan semalam..
Nak nanges tapi tak ada air mata kat tear gland.
Nak vent frustration, tapi tak pandai mencarut
Bukan tak pandai, tak biasa.. haha
Tiap kali balik exam. Besok mesti sakit kepala yang extreme.
Tak boleh tidur. Pagi cramp neck muscle. Ke sebab sejuk?
Nampak tak sekarang ini laju saja menaip, padahal besok ada satu paper lagi.
Genius kan?
Orang lain mesti semua tengah sibuk pulun buku2.
Aku? *geleng kepala sajalah*
Biarlah yang semalam itu berlalu.
Looking forward is the only thing you can do.
You cannot turn back time.
Sama lah jugak sekarang ini sebenarnya kan..
Every passing seconds will not return back to you.
I guess that's the cue.
Smile prettily, you are a flower.
A girl will always be a girl, acts like a girl.
purposenya kali ini adalah sesi luahan.
sesi bercakap kosong dengan diri sendiri. :)
Today is not Monday.
And this is supposed to be done on Monday.
"I have decided not to pursue her.
The more you pursue someone,
the further you get from that person.
I think that is Love.
Will you just stay right where you are?"
-- That sweet guy next door --
I admit I am currently on my crazy side.
That's the best piece you've ever said.
Hokey. Buhbye.
Exam belum selesai.
Marilah kembali ke dunia nyata.
I am officially the stupidest person on earth.
What the heck am I doing with this precious gem that I have right now?
And I am wasting it like a fool!
Inilah monolog dalaman aku tiap-tiap hari. Tapi masih begitu juga. Sungguh paling bodoh kan. Paling rugi. Dan segala macam terpaling ada dalam fikiran aku ini.
Soooooo, buat apa membazir masa menaip kat sini pulak ni? Menambah kebodohan diri?
-_- Come on lah babe, you are better than this. (percubaan menpsiko diri, entahlah ejaannya macam mana, biaq pi lah..) Aku menaip sekarang ini sebab perasaan aku serabut and I need to get it out of my system right now, so here I am.
Aku rasa aku boleh kenal pasti patologi penyakit aku sekarang ini. Ini namanya penyakit kemalasan. Tahu tak, once you are away from the books, you'll find it very difficult to get closer to them again. So, this is what happened. Aku rasa macam nak hempuk kepala aku sendiri bila aku tak study. I did feel guilty when I did not for once in a day read them.
And it did not help that the internet is on 24/7 without rest. Jadi, boleh predict jugak how the outcome kan? So apa resolusi aku sekarang ini?
Honestly speaking, nothing in mind.
And honestly speaking jugak, mungkin aku tak banyak berdoa dengan Tuhan.
Tak cukup menjaga hubungan dengan Tuhan aku ini, itu yang banyak sangat hijabnya, itu yang hati kotor semacam, tak tenang-tenang perasaan.
Mungkin sebab dah lama tak usrah. Tak jumpa kakak naqibah.
Oh ye, telefon aku rosak dihantar baiki, jadi memang aku loss contact dengan manusia-manusia yang aku sayang. Besides, dalam whatsapp tu lah, dr Tamer nak berkongsi soalan, gambar2, macam-macam lagilah.
Mungkin benda pertama aku kena buat sekarang adalah menjaga solat. Jaga waktu, tata tertibnya, kekhusyukannya..
Hokey, aku nak choww dulu. Cukup dah kot merapu sebanyak ini untuk hari ini.
Sehingga berjumpa lagi. muahhh.
Bai Mr Blog, i lap u :):):)
Sesungguhnya proses menurunkan berat badan ini tersangatlah menyakitkan.
Menyakitkan hati aku, akal fikiran dan jiwa raga aku pun turut terseksa. Banyak kali aku kena psiko diorang ini supaya tak tergoda dengan pikatan Mr F ni.
Siapa pulak kan Mr F ni? Uh uh, Bukan Zul Ariffin MAID itu. Kalau yang itu, ... no comment. HEEEE
Hah, meh sini nak bagitau, Mr. F ini memang irresistible, aduhai, lama jugak kami bercinta. HAHAHA.. Mr Food ini memang semua orang tak boleh lari dari godaan dia ini. Dasar playboy! HAHAHA.. layankan ajelah karutan aku ini.
Pleaselah weh. Time makan kau tak ingat dunia. Dah terkumpul lemak-lemak itu memanglah sakit kau nak kasi cair lemak2 itu. Tidak mengapalah, aku akan terus berusaha istiqamah dengan gaya hidup sihat. (Aku cuba hokey, cuba, baca perkataan ini banyak kali, aku cuba!)
Maksudnya hape? Kalau kau tengok aku macam itu jugak, tahulah dikau aku gagal dalam percubaan aku. Atau aku masih dalam percubaan .. HEHEHE..
Aku pun tak tahulah kenapa aku rajin sangat ini.
Yelah, nanti mungkin aku tak ada masa sudah nak membebel kat sini.
Atau aku dah hilang nafsu mahu merapu.
You gotta love your body, babe!
motto untuk hari ini.
supaya tak depress sangat bila tengok cermin.
